Move On

Matthew 28:16-20

Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

The disciples came to the mountain and there they saw the Resurrected Jesus.  Not the resuscitated Jesus.  Not the ghost of Jesus.  No.  What they saw there was something no one had ever seen, or even imagined, ever before!  They worshiped, because, well, this was clearly Jesus… AND yet they doubted because they were rational, thinking, honest human beings who were seeing something that no one had ever seen or even ever imagined before!  

This mix of worship and doubt didn’t make them unfaithful… it made them human.  It made them honest!  This lesson is NOT here to tell us that we need to “believe better than those darn, doubting, disciples”.  NO!  This lesson is meant to tell us that the most faithful disciples will always be those who move forward while both worshiping AND doubting.  The most faithful disciples will always be those who are willing to live in the uncertainty and discomfort of NOT having their faith all tied up neatly with a bow.  The most faithful disciples will always be those who are honest enough to say out loud, “this is confusing” or “this bit of Scripture contradicts that bit of Scripture” or “I just can’t wrap my mind around this.”  The most faithful disciples will always be those who refuse to do the dishonest acrobatics that some insist we do to make any difficulties, conflicts, or contradictions magically go away.

The original disciples didn’t do that!  They stood there on that hillside and honestly said “This is all more than my brain can process!  I see Jesus, yes, but like NO Jesus I’ve ever seen before and REALLY… HONESTLY, I don’t know what to do next!”  

I find myself these days in a not too dissimilar spot.  Perhaps you do too.  We see Jesus, neither resuscitated, nor as a ghost, but instead, in, with, and under the small, fleeting, wonder-filled moments of lived out human love and compassion AND we are also plagued with doubt about what to do next in this world, which frankly feels all too often like it has no God, because it has become so maddeningly horrible.  We, like those original disciples, believe and doubt all at the same time.  We, like those original disciples very often have no idea what to do next.  

The answer of what to do next given to the disciples then, in this lesson, was not that they needed to fully understand the doctrine of the Trinity, nor fully work out all their other theological conundrums.  NO!  The answer to them about what to do next… was to Go!  Go and live the “Jesus Way” of living in the world and in that Going… and in that Living… other Disciples of the Jesus Way of Going and Living would be made along the way and that would, in time, change the world.

Theologian, Steven Sondheim says it this way:  He says, “Move on.  Stop worrying where you're going.  Move on.  If you can know where you’re going, you've gone.  Just keep moving on.”  Theologian Sam Cooke talks about belief and doubt and carrying on anyway like this:  He says, “It's been too hard living, but I'm afraid to die. 'Cause I don't know what's up there, beyond the sky.  It’s been a long, a long time coming. But I know a change gon' come, oh yes, it will.”

You and I are overwhelmed by an onslaught of madness day after day.  We believe God is with us, at the very same time we don’t really know what’s up there beyond the sky.  We too don’t know what to do next.  Even those with pointy hats who we think should know, are maddeningly silent… struck dumb by the day’s insanity.  They too have no answers.  They too have no idea what to say.  

But faithful disciples are NOT those who have the answers.  Faithful disciples don't wait until they know exactly what to say.  Faithful disciples have doubt… they have questions… but even while absolutely NOTHING is clear to them… still… they Go.  They take a first step.  Even while believing and doubting all at the same time, they… Move On.  First, one step toward doing justice, and then another step toward loving kindness, stepping humbly along the Way.  Even while being deeply mired in the fog of belief and doubt, they take a step toward the hope filled vision we have been given by Jesus, that love is stronger than hate and that death will not have the last word.  

Faithful disciples GO, even when they are not at all sure they are going in the right direction.  Faithful disciples Move On, not knowing if it’s the right move they’re making.  The decisions we make as faithful disciples may turn out to be wrong, but, the Deciding… the Moving… the Going… is not.    

So we Step out.  We Move On.  We Go.  We Carry On, not waiting for a time that will never come when we can wrap our minds fully and neatly around the Divine and be certain.  We Move On, even while we are still lost in a dark and maddening fog of confused belief and doubt.  We Carry On. We Move On.  We take a next step toward justice, kindness, and humility knowing only one thing… That we Go... That we Move On... That we take that next step, possessing not certainty, but the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Love of God, and the Communion of the Holy Spirit which is with us… always… in some mysterious way…  sometimes profoundly felt and at other times feeling profoundly absent, but with us always… even to the end of the age.  Amen.