What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

The Holy Gospel According to St. John, the 20th Chapter

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?  THAT is the hard, seemingly impossible question we have before us.  Not just for today and not just because this is the text for today.  What would you do if you weren’t afraid?  That’s the question, because there are always good disciples who find themselves locked in an “upper room” behind powerful doors… locked in fear.  I know what fear looks like.  It’s a look I’ve seen before in the mirror.  I’ve been there.  I know what it looks like.  I know how it drains your hope, your life, your imagination.  I know how it makes you lash out.  I know how bitter it tastes.  I know.  I know because I’ve lived in that room locked with fear.  I've locked myself away in fear before.  Lashed out in fear.  I know.  Fear is powerful.  Fear is paralyzing.  Fear is debilitating.  The disciples locked the doors out of their powerful, paralyzing, debilitating FEAR.  The only thing they could see ahead of them was their own bitter, terrible, disappointing, inevitable end... an end like Jesus’s end.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?  

It’s not that there was no reason for their fear.  The disciples didn’t wake up all happy-go-lucky without a care in the world, filled with joy and then sometime after a casual latte at Starbucks, stroke their beards and say, “I think I’ll lock the door and hide in life paralyzing fear today.”  No!  They had methodically and painfully been dragged down into the depths of this fear by the soul crushing events of Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday where, in less than a week, EVERYTHING they had lived for, every moment of the day for three whole years of their lives, had ended in this pain-filled place of hopelessness where they were physically, and emotionally UNABLE to see anything else.  Fear had them locked away more completely than the strongest dead bolt, padlock or cell block.  They were locked inside that room with FEAR blocking out every other possibility... where the only imaginable future was DEATH.  Any chance at HOPE and LIFE were locked securely outside that door.  

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

And yet... through doors and locks and fears, “Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’”  THEY didn’t come to Jesus.  They didn’t go and FIND Jesus.  Jesus came to THEM.  Now, you might want to say that IF the disciples HADN’T been paralyzed with debilitating fear and IF they had faith, then they could have seen the possibility of Jesus breaking through death into life.  They SHOULD have seen it because Jesus had, after all, spent the last three years breaking through seemingly unbreakable barriers... gender barriers, cultural barriers, religious barriers and physical barriers to bring the truth of God’s love to all of creation… but let's not "SHOULD" on the disciples.  They had NOTHING that could unlock that door… THIS IS DEATH we’re talking about.  There was NO way out of DEATH, no other place they could have ever even imagined that they could be, but locked in a room imprisoned by fear.  

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

    

They were scared, they felt defeated, they could not see a future, they were paralyzed, they were out of faith, out of hope, out of strength, out of energy and out of life.  They had NOTHING!  Not a hope in the world and into ALL THAT MESS Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.”  He didn’t say, “You know, I see you’re a bit blue.  Perhaps I might suggest a little peace to perk you up a bit?”  NO!  Jesus said “Peace BE with YOU!”  He SAID it and it WAS!  This was not a suggestion!  This was the Christ ORDERING PEACE to be with them!  AND IT WAS!  It was IN, WITH and UNDER every molecule of their being!  ... And in that moment, they no longer had nothing.  In that moment the light shone in the darkness and the darkness could not overcome it!  In that moment they were full to overflowing.  In that moment they had everything.  They had faith, hope, courage, purpose, a future... in that moment they had life.  

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Here’s the thing... I know that some of us are scared, a few of us feel defeated, and a handful of us can’t see a future.  I know that some feel paralyzed, out of faith, out of hope, out of strength, out of energy and out of life.  I know you are trapped in a room, locked away, paralyzed with fear... I know.  I know.

I know that’s where you are today, but I also know for all of us fear-filled disciples... THIS IS THE DAY!  TODAY there is nothing in all of creation, no lock big enough, no door strong enough... TODAY IS THE DAY when nothing on heaven or on earth will stop Jesus from standing HERE among us all... TODAY YOU WILL SEE JESUS... TODAY, Christ’s Peace WILL be with you!  TODAY!  TODAY, the Cup will be raised and the Bread will be broken and Jesus will be standing here among YOU ALL and YOU… WILL… HAVE… PEACE… the peace which passes all understanding!

So come to the Table!  Come as you are.  Empty.  With nothing.  Come without faith, without hope, without a future to imagine.  Come without courage, strength or an ounce of remaining energy... Come to the Table without the faintest flicker of light.  Come to the Table without even life itself and you WILL leave with EVERYTHING!  Leave Christ’s Table FILLED with faith.  Leave FILLED with hope.  Leave FILLED with courage, strength, light and nourishment for the journey ahead.  Come empty... and leave with EVERYTHING, leave filled to overflowing! Come broken and leave healed!  Come filled with fear and leave with the courage of a disciple filled with the power of God… a power that is able to transform death into life!  Do not doubt… but believe!  

What would you do if you weren't afraid?  Amen.